sitting , waiting, watching, wishing...

Do you ever feel like you're being tested? As if your inner person and strength of character is being stretched and pulled and prodded to see how you will withstand the stress? That's how I've felt recently. It's nothing huge, really... Just several small things that add up over time. I'm working on finding creative outlets to balance myself... such as projects I've long procrastinated about doing or trying new crafty things. It's kind of cool how redirecting your focus helps your mind settle. And, seeing the progress I make on little things provides a wonderful sense of accomplishment, and I momentarily forget about my frustrations and just relax.

The baby is teething... a few days of happiness, followed by a few days of clinginess and a child that is almost impossible to please. Those are rough days. Today I settled my mind of comfort for her and instead of being frustrated that she needed to be in my arms or on my lap 80% of her awake time, I chose to cherish it. We snuggled on the couch and watched Sesame Street, and my mommy heart started to overflow. Her giggles at Elmo and the other Muppets and the feel of her chubby warm cheeks on my chest are priceless. My daughter is precious beyond words. And baby? Why do I say my baby? She will be ONE YEAR OLD next week! What the..... How on earth did this first year fly by so incredibly quickly?

Our search for a house continues. We've looked at too many to count, offered on one, almost offered on another, and are planning to offer on yet another this week. Eventually we will find (and actually get!) the right one, I know, but I'm a little frustrated. I don't think we are terribly picky. There just seems to be a strange lack of houses in our price range at the moment. I wish I knew the end of this part of our journey... it would make this limbo stage so much easier.

These things, among others, have been testing my patience and strength. But God, in His infinite knowledge, knows that I continually need to trust Him more. Even though I know He is faithful and has proven that to me countless times, my trust-bank-account needs to grow more.

...Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
...How I've proved Him o'er and o'er....
...Oh for grace to trust Him more....

Oh for the grace to trust Him more. And more. And more.